Happy to be over 39's topics - tribe.net

New Hobbies after 40

roisin0908 — Mon, 12 Feb 2007 23:22:06 GMT

What new things have you done since you turned 40?

In chronological order - since I turned 40 I've:-

* Had 2 tattoos done (40)

* Got married (43)

* Got divorced (45)

* Been in a 4sum ;-) (46)

* Learnt to ride a motorbike & passed my test (47)

* Learnt to scuba dive (47)

and there's still a lot more to achieve

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 11 replies

Plan B

Don — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 11:49:57 GMT

My focus the past year has been developing a plan "B." Plan "B" is for what the heck to do with the last decade before I “statistically” retire. It is getting more and more apparent that my company will try to put me out to pasture sooner than later. One by one I have watched many older folks get pushed out and replaced with new models. 2008 will prove to be a very tough year for many of us in the big corporate world. I don’t want to be looking for another corporate job if I can help it.

Do you have a Plan "B"?

I started by writing a Personal Mission Statement:

Personal Mission Statement
To live with total clarity and focus on the one and only purpose I have left in life: to help every freethinker on earth, (including myself and my family) to become healthier, wealthier, wiser, and have a lot of fun doing it. (Short and Sweet)

At heart I am a writer and a speaker and a sort of reverend/salesman. I say “reverend/ salesman” because I enjoy meeting new people and sharing information that can help them achieve or improve something. The money is always secondary for me. I need money to support my family, but I don’t need money to be the driver of my purpose in life. Maybe I am just a weird bird that is doomed to extinction, but I have finally learned who I am under all the labels placed on me by society.

Tribes gave me the opportunity to write and debate with hundreds of people on so many topics. This led me to some very powerful ideas for my Plan “B.” I have spent the past 11 months implementing the idea and so far it’s working!

The task is immense and I guess this is the kind of thing that keeps me focused as I can see it building and growing. However, I can’t do it alone. I may be the Reverend of Self Reliance, but that doesn’t mean I don’t also rely on other people.

In the near future, I will share more details with anyone interested, but I am not ready for this phase of the business yet. I will need mature adults with open minds that like to share ideas and help others just like me. The bonus is that Plan “B” also generates income (if you want to generate income).

If you have ideas, knowledge, and experiences that revolve around topics that you are passionate about and you want to share and help others, you may also find what I am doing interesting.

Just list the topics you love here or send me an email. The idea is to tap into the core of what you really want from this life and combine your time and talent with others to create something that you otherwise may only have dreamed of. I will get back to everyone I hear from.

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 0 replies

Apology

Don — Mon, 03 Mar 2008 07:26:37 GMT

I apologize for not paying any attention this tribe or any tribe for that matter in a very long time. I think everything in life serves a purpose and we move on.

This tribe actually required my regular attempts to recruit members. Ninety percent of you showed up here because I would search Tribes by age and just start asking folks who were over 39 if they would like to join. I would say 95% of you here said yes without hesitation. Most members never posted anything more than maybe a hello. It’s a bit like an 8th grade dance and everyone is waiting for someone else to make the first move. I suppose if nobody asks you to dance or you don’t ask somebody to dance, the whole thing gets boring and you don’t come to many more dances.

I welcome all of you to bring in a new member (or search for oldsters) and you should also post something for the heck of generating some possible discussion. If there was some more life, I think we all might check-in a bit more.

In any case, I am still alive and kicking. Maybe someday I will organize a group meet-up for members in the Portland area.

Rev

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 0 replies

Has everyone over 39 died?

Don — Fri, 13 Apr 2007 06:49:22 GMT

Hi everyone. All of you represent a unique group of individuals who have all made the decision to join this tribe. Unfortunately, it seems the concept was good (people over 39), but the motivation to participate is gone. I admit, I am as guilty as all of you. I started this tribe because I grew tired of fighting with children who have not yet gained the simple experience of growing up. Tribe.net is full of know-it-all children who totally disrespect their elders. I have learned from those children that it is TOTALLY are own fault for their disrespect of us. At first I did not agree, but now I do, because our generation had failed them. We have allowed the greedy and corrupt among us take control of everything. We have allowed all the jobs we once enjoyed to be exported to China. We have allowed corporations to destroy the family and the family business. We have allowed the schools to become day care centers. We have allowed our government representatives to be be corrupted by gifts and donations from global corporations to the point where our vote and our voice is not even heard.

Frankly, I could write 1,000 pages of reasons to support my position here. The question is: DOES ANY OF US REALLY CARE? Shit, we will all be dead in fifteen to thirty-five years. We are all passed the half-way point and there is no return for us. What is it that we as a generation want to leave behind as a legacy of who we were as a people, as the children of the 60's and 70's?

Do you want the bull shit image of drugged out hippies being the image of who we are as a generation? I enjoyed the rock and roll and the parties, but I never stopped trying to grow and improve. Somehow, the message of growing and improving has been edited out of who we are as a generation.

This board is one of the few places in life where we can say whatever the hell we want to say. Our boss can't say anything about what we say here, nobody even knows who we actually are in real life. So why not make this board the place where you take a stand and tell the world what it is really on your mind. Give the youth something to really think about, something that can help them find a better future.

I wish I could meet everyone of you before I pass away, but sadly I will most likely not meet a single soul here. So, all we have is a text based reality (with a few graphics) to share; but, this is a lot better than nothing at all.

So tell me, what is on your mind today my fellow elders of a misrepresented generation?

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 11 replies

May-December romance..

atcandela — Thu, 10 May 2007 06:18:22 GMT

Ok.. does anyone want to take a stance on this one?
Without going too much into detail, I've been spending time with a new male friend where we have
a 11 yr. age difference. I'll be 40yrs. next week and he just turn 29yrs.about 2 mos.ago.
I thought he was in his early 30's! Boyish handsome looks.

We're taking things casuallly, but it's clearly expressed the attraction to each other.
Emotionally he has gone through some personal struggles, and trust has been an issue with his past lovers.
Hasn't had a serious relationship with any woman...

Now all of sudden I feel the gears are switching and that I need to be extra responsible/cautious around him.
He's working on the "trust issues" and gaining confidence within himself in many areas. He mentioned jealousy
and going through hard depression well into his 20's.
He done acting classes/improv and sounds like he would like to pursue this further :)

I'm a true supporter in anyone who honestly believes in themselves and going out there.
I can see myself emotionally/spiritually guiding him whenever he feels the need of support.

My only thoughts is psychologically what pros/cons there could be to such a relationship.
Communication between is very casual.. he loves to talk quite a bit, some things I can or cannot relate to! ;)

Can anyone stand up on this soapbox and share their perspective or experience on this matter..

thanks in advance.. ~A~

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 10 replies

Maxines's Over 39 Quotes

Virginia — Wed, 16 May 2007 15:45:16 GMT

I have a degree in liberal arts. Do you want fries with that?

Stupidity is not a handicap. Park elsewhere.

I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on.

Ever get the feeling your stuff strutted off without you?

The gene pool could use a little more chlorine.

Wrinkled was not one of the things I wanted to be when I grew up.

NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room spinning medicine.

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 1 reply

Middle Age is All the Rage

Virginia — Wed, 16 May 2007 15:53:42 GMT

1. You're aged to perfection.
2. Your secrets are safe with your friends because they can't remember them either.
3. Hang in there, retirement is only 27 years away.
4. Getting older is now chic. The rustic look is in.
5. Remember the tea kettle still whistles at you.
6. Even 50 is not old if you are a California Redwood.
7. You don't need to avoid temptations; it now avoids you.
8. You're only middle age once, enjoy it.

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 1 reply

We Need a National Health Plan

Xradioguy — Sun, 22 Apr 2007 04:09:26 GMT

My wife, Alma, celebrates her 60th birthday tomorrow. I use the word “celebrates” loosely. Last fall she was diagnosed with multiple myeloma, an incurable cancer of the bone marrow. She has been undergoing aggressive treatment since the diagnosis and the disease is now in remission.

There is a treatment involving the extraction, freezing and re-implanting her own stem cells and massive chemotherapy available which could prolong her life for an unknown number of years. The only problem is that it costs nearly a quarter of a million dollars. We’re hoping the new insurance I have through my work place will cover it, but we’re just not sure that it will. She lost her insurance through her former job when her grace period to return to work ran out. She cannot go back to work, probably ever. Fortunately, she does have disability insurance, and we’re trying to get her on Social Security disability so we can get her Medicaid or Medicare benefits.

Since she’s in remission, the doctors want her to go to Seattle ASAP for the transplant/chemo treatment. When she called the new insurance company, she was told, rather coldly, that there is a one-year waiting period – no exceptions. It doesn’t matter if it’s a matter of life or death; no exceptions. And never mind that they might be breaking HIPPA laws, because there was no interruption of coverage between her former insurance coverage and the current coverage. No exceptions!

I know there are those of the conservative bent who vehemently oppose any kind of national health plan, or as they would call it, “socialized medicine.” Most of the other developed countries in the west have national health coverage, but not the good ol’ USA. It might raise taxes a little so we can’t afford the fancy new RV, boat or summer home we’ve just got to have. We can spend billions and billions of dollars fighting an unwinnable war in Iraq, but we can’t afford a national health plan?

I served four years in the U. S. Navy during the Vietnam fiasco. The current state of affairs in this country – the neoconservatism and the “screw you, I’ve got mine, to hell with you” attitude that so many people have adopted here make me wonder why I didn’t run off to Canada back then. At least the Canadians have a national health plan.

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 2 replies

Happy to be over 39?.....

Eric — Sat, 28 Apr 2007 00:18:40 GMT

Hell yeah!
My youth was NOT my golden years, thank God it's impossible to be 20 again!!
30s were great, 40's are even better.

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 5 replies

Strokes-This could save a life...Cut & Paste to an email

WhiteSage — Fri, 27 Apr 2007 22:24:28 GMT

My friend sent this to me and encouraged me to post it and spread the word. I agree. If everyone can remember something this simple, we could save some folks. Seriously... Please read:

STROKE IDENTIFICATION:

During a BBQ, a friend stumbled and took a little fall - she assured everyone that she was fine (they offered to call paramedics) and just tripped over a brick because of her new shoes. They got her cleaned up and got her a new plate of food - while she appeared a bit shaken up, Ingrid went about enjoying herself the rest of the evening. Ingrid's husband called later telling everyone that his wife had been taken to the hospital - (at 6:00pm, Ingrid passed away.) She had suffered a stroke at the BBQ. Had they known how to identify the signs of a stroke, perhaps Ingrid would be with us today. Some don't die. They end up in a helpless, hopeless condition instead.

It only takes a minute to read this...

A neurologist says that if he can get to a stroke victim within 3 hours he can totally reverse the effects of a stroke...totally. He said the trick was getting a stroke recognized, diagnosed, and then getting the patient medically cared for within 3 hours, which is tough.

RECOGNIZING A STROKE

Thank God for the sense to remember the "3" steps, STR . Read and Learn!

Sometimes symptoms of a stroke are difficult to identify. Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster. The stroke victim may suffer severe brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke.

Now doctors say a bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions:

S * Ask the individual to SMILE.

T * Ask the person to TALK to SPEAK A SIMPLE SENTENCE(Coherently) (i.e. It is sunny out today)

R * Ask him or her to RAISE BOTH ARMS.

NOTE: Another 'sign' of a stroke is this: Ask the person to 'stick' out their

tongue. If the tongue is 'crooked', if it goes to one side or the other

that is also an indication of a stroke. If he or she has trouble with

ANY ONE of these tasks, call 911 immediately!! And describe the

symptoms to the dispatcher.

A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to

10 people; you can bet that at least one life will be saved.�

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 0 replies

Tribe alternatives?

sonya — Tue, 13 Sep 2005 20:54:11 GMT

I ask this here because I am not interested in places like Friendster or MySpace; they seem to be dominated by the under-30 crowd. I was wondering what other sites are like Tribe; all-purpose forum systems, I guess you'd call them. In the old days, Usenet used to be a one-stop place to discuss specific and general topics, but I think its days are over. I like places like WetCanvas for the art community, but I'd really like to find a place that encompasses a large variety of interests.

Tribe has about outlived its interest for me. Not just the ads, but it seems to be losing momentum in general, not keeping up with the things I'd expect in a forum. So I'm curious where else online might fill this niche. Thanks!

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 18 replies

New search engine for aging boomers

Wed, 10 Jan 2007 21:06:44 GMT

Posted 1/10/2007 3:27 PM ET
By Michael Liedtke, The Associated Press
SAN FRANCISCO — Does surfing the Web exhaust — and even exasperate — older people? The backers of Cranky.com are betting on it.
Cranky is a specialty search engine designed to please aging baby boomers by processing every request from the perspective of someone who is at least 50 years old.

This steadily growing demographic often feels overwhelmed using high-powered search engines from the likes of Google and Yahoo because they spew out more results than older eyes care to see, said Jeff Taylor, the Cranky mastermind who previously struck it rich as the founder of online employment site Monster.com.

"Our research found that people 50 and over are confused about searching on the Web," said Taylor, who runs Eons, a Boston-based start-up devoted to creating products aimed at the graying baby-boom generation born from 1946 through 1964. "It's hard for them to understand all the results."

Launched earlier this week, Cranky is trying to simplify things by showing just four websites in the non-advertising section of each results page and making the sparser listings more relevant to its target audience. Google and Yahoo, by comparison, usually list at least 10 sites per results page.

Like the mainstream search engines, Cranky hopes to make money selling targeted advertising alongside its search results. Cranky's ads will be provided by InterActiveCorp's Ask.com, a search engine that has been around for a decade.

After teaming up with Internet research firm Compete Inc. to identify the 500,000 most popular websites among people at least 45 years old, Cranky dispatched reviewers to dig even deeper into the top 5,000 destinations. The reviewers then wrote descriptions about the content and tried to ensure the index contained more direct links to the most meaningful information.

At 46, Taylor technically isn't old enough to be using Cranky.com yet.

But he could have easily retired by now. When he left Monster in August 2005, Taylor had already made at least $33 million cashing in his stock options in the site's parent company, Monster Worldwide Inc.

Taylor isn't expecting Cranky to be an overnight success.

"By the time I get it right," he said, "I probably will be 50."

Copyright 2007 The Associated Press. All rights reserved. This material may not be published, broadcast, rewritten or redistributed.

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 1 reply

My Christmas Wish

Don — Thu, 07 Dec 2006 07:21:52 GMT

MY 2006 CHRISTMAS
WISH LIST

I have the same wish every year and that is for my children to discover the same things that I have achieved in this life:

To be Alive and in Good Health

A Loving Wife

Loving Children and Grandchildren

A Good Education that never ends

A Safe Home and Car

A Steady Income that Exceeds my Expenses

No Debts

Loving Pets

Nobody gave me these things; I decided that I wanted them and I did what I needed to do to earn them and I continue to do what I can to keep them.

Happiness and Success are not about wanting and owning things or getting what somebody else has; it is about knowing who you are; who you love and care about; and who loves and cares about you.

Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays

May you all have these things and more.

Rev

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 1 reply

My Mother is Dying

Don — Sun, 08 Oct 2006 05:41:45 GMT

One of the not so great things about getting older is that we all have to watch our parents die. I wrote this tonight and wanted to share it.

My mother is dying.

The day has come where I can no longer deny that my mother is making the transition from life to death. Logically we all know there is a final day on the calendar for each and everyone of us.

Our grandparents and their peers die when we are young. We age into our parents and watch our parents become like our grandparents and no matter how weak and frail they become, we ignore the thought of the moment in time when we can no longer say another word to them and they not another word to us.

Many in my family have left this earth; each remains alive in my memory. Some of these people are now remembered by no one else; when I go, so will all mental images of these long departed friends and relatives.

Now my mother is in the hospital and I live 3,000 miles away. She can barely speak, she told me she cannot eat or drink anymore, her throat is closing, and her organs are shutting down. She knows the time has come and she is alone and afraid.

Each of us will be alone in the final moments. What will your final thought be? What will your final mental image be? What mental images will you leave behind?

I will go back to see her hopefully before she dies, yet I have no way to time the trip. She could die as I write this note or a week from now. Nobody can time the final minute in advance. What do you tell an employer who gives three days for funeral preparation, attendance, and grieving?

My mother’s name is Elaine Sloat. She was born on July 19, 1934 and grew up in Bogota, NJ. Her family were working class people who came from Ireland, England, and Germany and settled in New York State, later moving to the Bronx and then to NJ as so many did back in those days.

She fell in love at 19 with my father, who married her, gave her two children, and proceeded to neglect her for seven years. After being left for three weeks with no money, she packed the car and left the house to find a way for the three of us to survive.

She was a beautiful woman with a good heart, but she had no self-confidence. She always attracted drunks like my father and never found an unmarried man to love her. The emotional impact of how my father treated her never healed. Even after forty years, his name would inevitably come up in every conversation. I don’t think she ever loved any man as much as she loved him. She was taken advantage of by every man and every employer she ever had. They knew she was too naive to even understand just how short her end of the stick was.

She was raised a Catholic and remains a believer in the Christian God, even though he never gave her one single chance for happiness in life. Her happiness was making an occasional journey to Atlantic City to gamble ten dollars, eat a hot dog or an ice cream and sit on the boardwalk alone. Everywhere she went she would speak to anyone as if they were her good friend. Some would welcome the conversation and some would run away. She seemed to associate with all the down-trodden and otherwise invisible poor souls who we step over everyday.

She loved animals; her old cat will miss her. Many of the elderly ladies in her building will miss her. Her mother and grandmother lived to 87 and 93 and she is only 72. She loved sweets and refused to ever worry about her health. A few years ago, her legs developed a horrible and painful condition called Venus Insufficiency which is a fancy term for poor blood circulation. The skin and tissue on the lower legs actually dissolve, leaving what appears to be severe acid burns down to the bone. Words simply cannot describe what this disease looks like.

While Medicaid provided a great deal of health care services to her, it all seemed robotic. Twice a week her dressings were changed and every few months she was back in the hospital for another completely unsuccessful surgery. I often wondered if this was all just another money making opportunity and if she were wealthy maybe they would have given her treatments in a hyperbaric chamber and tried more advanced skin grafting techniques. While the symptoms were treated, I don’t think they ever looked at the cause, which was a weakening heart.

Although she was not overweight, I think her life long diet of junk food is taking her fifteen years before her time. After such a hard life, and a strong love of god, she was given the added burden of this severe pain and inability to walk.

Every one of her caregivers in the hospital or doctors office that I ever spoke to always told me they knew me before I called because my mother would talk a lot about me. They all liked my mother because she was friendly and kind to them and asked how they were doing. I want to say thank you to all the caregivers out there who work so hard and get so little in return. So many of these ladies are foreign born and they are good hearted souls. American materialism has not yet taken their love for mankind.

My mother Elaine is counting her final moments in a hospital bed. Her last wish is to be cremated and have her ashes buried with her mother and father. She thanked me for never giving her any trouble as a child and making her proud to have had both a wonderful boy and girl.

Give your Mom a call, she will be happy to hear from you. Talk to an old person, you just might learn something worth remembering.

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 5 replies

Ready to Live to 100?

WhiteSage — Sun, 17 Sep 2006 22:00:33 GMT

Some of us on this list most likely will! We are the healthiest generation of Americans yet.

Are you ready to live to 100?

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 1 reply

Would you botox?

diannecc — Fri, 08 Sep 2006 04:31:19 GMT

I like the natural look. I don't want to look surprised all the time or look like a bee stung my lips. I saw a lady at the hairdresser yesterday who scared the heck out of me with her too little nose and too smooth skin. Eek!

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 3 replies

Cleaning out my tribes....

Melodious — Wed, 06 Sep 2006 10:07:29 GMT

Is this one dead? (Sad.)

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 2 replies

Would gender matter?

Sun, 04 Jun 2006 15:57:50 GMT

If you're one of those people who:

1. Considers yourself to be in a relationship with your true soulmate

2. Had ever met, marrried or connected with what you considered was your soulmate in this lifetime

3. Is truly, madly, deeply in love with your significant other

4. Been married (with or with out kids) for several years

5. Is about to be married

6. Is in a long-term relationship and planning to keep it that way

What would you have done differently if your love was a different gender?

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 2 replies

too old for Tribe?

ReReKuka — Sat, 25 Mar 2006 05:07:22 GMT

So the request for new logo ideas (nice to see) in our inboxes includes this bit of description of what Tribe wants to project: "- Tribe users include men and women in the 22-35 age range, who frequently live in metropolitan areas"

I just turned 13 years too old to be the oldest on Tribe. I feel like I'm getting away with something, kind of like lying about your age to get drinks only turned inside out....Maybe they only show ads to those of us over 35 so we'll leave?

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 10 replies

Anyone trying to lose weight here!

Mary — Mon, 10 Apr 2006 21:31:25 GMT

I am trying to lose some weight and am doing the Atkins low carb .
Just wondering if anyone else here is trying to lose weight and learning how to eat healthy.
Would love for you to join me and maybe share some tips and recipes etc.......

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 27 replies

Now officially over 49 :)

Fri, 22 Jul 2005 18:02:05 GMT

I'm back from my holiday in California to celebrate finally reaching a half century.

Thanks to all I met in American for making it truly special...

I will return before I am 100, for sure :)

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 2 replies

Looking for help and ideas

BobM — Thu, 15 Dec 2005 05:21:46 GMT

When my mother passed away earlier this year one of the things that I inherited was her business. My mother ran a resale shop/farmers market booth. The items available were a pretty eclectic mix of items. When I came home to help her out we started to work on being slightly more specific in the customers we catered to. The direction we took was based on both her interests and my own. Specifically we started selling more items along the lines of New Age and Indian/Southwest style items. After my mother passed away I closed her store while I got her affairs and my life in order. Recently I’ve been getting my mind around the idea of re-opening her store with some changes. Instead of being strictly a farmers market type of operation I’ve been looking at something more in line with a retail style business.

Having said that I’d like to ask for some help and ideas. I’m looking at keeping in the direction of New Age items and possibly Southwest as well. I’m also considering adding Gothic items as well and have some ideas in this direction already.

My questions are this. If you were Boss for a day and could choose absolutely anything you wanted to carry what items would you include in such a store? What things have you looked for in other stores and not been able to find and wish you could? What things do you hate or find to be poor quality? Any ideas will be carefully considered and greatly appreciated. Please feel free to give any suggestions and don’t feel limited in items you might consider right now I’m looking for ideas and I’ll narrow the field later.

Obviously I won’t be including everything but I’d sure like to be able to offer people quality items and a good selection. The area that I am in currently does not have anything close by and the few shops that you can drive to have some items but really have very little. Having talked to many people in this area there seems to be a good customer base for such a store if it existed and based on the way sales picked up when we started to carry such things before the store closed it would seem to bear this out.

Again please let me say thank you for any help or ideas you can give. If you don’t feel comfortable posting here please feel free to message me privately.

Thanks so much,
Bob

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 1 reply

Getting Older

Mon, 25 Jul 2005 17:44:59 GMT

This was sent to me via email

I don't mind getting older; it happens to us all. Some of us even get wiser with the added years. I'm not sure if I have. I don't like age-ism any more than any other ism. I don't lie about my age. But what bugs me about getting older is the cost.

This month alone it's been £100 for a new pair of specs, £200 for a crown to replace a broken tooth, £7 for hair dye, etc, etc. I don't mind being over 40 but I don't want to be sightless, toothless and greyish. (Grey would be fine, but it's the half and half which doesn't suit me.) I feel like an old banger and wonder why my husband (a toy-boy seven years younger) doesn't trade me in for a younger model with cheaper running costs.

It's not just the expense of getting older that's disconcerting. I don't know if any of you have problems with finding the right words for things. I've recently suggested that we should heat something up in the photocopier (I meant microwave) and said "fridge" when I meant... oh, I've forgotten whatever it was now.

That's another thing. You go upstairs for something and when you get there, you haven't a clue what it was you wanted. It's only by going back down again that you have any chance of eventually remembering. Not only that; if you're an expat, Britain seems to metamorphosise every time you're away.

This can range from unimportant stuff like how they now print your cheques using the till in supermarkets to really important things like being able to buy appropriate underwear. After a few years away, I was stunned to discover that the simple process of buying a bra from M&S was no longer an option.

If you are anything less than a 34C you can buy an enhancer, which is basically what we used to call a padded bra. This is probably better than stuffing tissues down your front as I did in my early teens only to notice a third breast around my navel during a rowdy dance to the latest Slade hit.

If you're bigger than 34C the only option seems to be a so-called "minimiser". I wouldn't mind minimising my bust if they could minimise my stomach to match but that didn't seem to be on offer. Anyway, I bought the minimiser believing that's probably how to do it these days. What a horrible thing that was. Basically, its function appeared to be to hide most of the breasts under the armpits. I know that many of our readers are blokes but even you can imagine how that was not at all pleasant.

It's not even the sort of thing you can easily ask people about either. I mean, if you start enquiring about someone's underwear, they seem to get a bit suspicious of you. Anyway, if anyone has any advice, please write in. Chances are though, by the time I get any answers I'll have forgotten the question.

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 4 replies

Relationships Gone Wild

Jim — Wed, 12 Apr 2006 00:29:17 GMT

It seems so many relationships are falling apart right now. In my counseling business, i am working with seven different couples that are a breath away from saying goodbye to each other.

I also have friends and aquaintances who are in crisis in their relationships. My Astrologer friend claims it is because Mercury is in retrograde. Lots of opinions. For what it is worth, I would like to throw my opinions in the pot for your feedback and thoughts.

1. We seem to be a society of instant gratification. High speed internet, 150 channels immediately available on our remote and microwaves are faster than ever. We want it all NOW. It is hard for us to delay our gratification. We tend to leave five minutes before the miracle. In fact we are a society of leaving....leaving spiritual paths to try a new one, leaving jobs, leaving lovers, leaving families, leaving where we live for what we think will be something better. And after we do our geographical, we find the same problems and challenges follow us.

2. This one just might really stir the pot. In so many cases, the couples I counsel finally after much denial admit that alcohol and drugs are a serious issue in the relationship.

I have numerous phone clients. Recently, a couple I am working with back east both entered an inpatient treatment center. We are not talking about penniless slackers.
He is an attorney and she teaches English in a private high school.

Now, to keep it fair and honest, I am a recovered alcoholic. I will have been clean and sober 33 years this April 30. So I have experienced both sides of the coin. Am I prejudiced against alcohol and drugs? Maybe. But I can tell you this. In 26 years of the work I do, I have yet to see alcohol or drugs add value to a relationship.

We use chemicals to alter our state of consciousness so we don't have to face the reality of the here and now.

3. Most couples in crisis lack a strong spiritual program. I am NOT talking about religion, doctrine or dogma. I am talking about universal spiritual practices such as meditation,
non-sectarian prayer etc. that keep us in contact with Source. Personally, I am very Metaphysical in my spiritual path.

4. Couples in crisis seem to have their PH:D in the other person's behavior and they are at kindergarten level regarding their own behavior.

What I find sad, is the fact many of these relationships can be saved and healed, but people leave and give up way too soon. And then two years later they are back in my office with a new partner dragging the same old problems around in their lives. They re-invent the wheel time and time again.

PLEASE, if you are thinking of leaving, take a 30 day time out. Get some help, get some counseling. Make a list of the values and beauty that brought you together in the first place.
Spend 100% of your time for a week looking at YOUR behavior and zero percent of your time looking at your partners behavior. You may be surp[rised at what you discovered.

If this helps one couple, it has been worth me posting my opinions, be they right or wrong.
Would love to hear your feedback.
Love peace and blessings,
Jim Wilhite

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 1 reply

Music for the grownup in you...

Wed, 22 Mar 2006 01:23:44 GMT

There's another cowboy in town. He hangs a guitar on the stage at DavesRoadHouse.com. Go visit and take a listen to the twang, honky tonk, sinners, winners, losers and boozers.

Hank3, Waylon, Hacienda Brothers, Mavericks, Old 97s, Slobberbone, Gourds, Patsy, Cash, Jones, Merle, Neko Case...it goes on..

www.DavesRoadHouse.com

Ya'll come visit!

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 0 replies

This weekend...

00smittenkitten — Wed, 08 Mar 2006 05:57:06 GMT

I turned 40. My husband, being the god he is brought me tea in bed.
He sat down next to me and asked me how I slept, I reponded that it I had slept well, he sighed and said that that was a good thing. I foolishly asked him why, and he responded that it would have been a shame not to sleep well that night, as it was afterall, my last nights sleep in my 30's!

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 2 replies

Back to school as an adult?

sonya — Tue, 16 Aug 2005 02:41:35 GMT

Hi there; as a nearly-40-year-old who will be starting college again in the fall, I thought this migh tbe the place to talk about other people's experiences going back to school. I'm a little worried that I will be the oldest person there, but I understand that a lot of over-40s are going back to school these days. Also, these are evening classes toward a certificate, so I assume more people who have established lives and job will be there.

Have you gone back? What was it like? Any advice for someone who hasn't been in a college class for 20 years?

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 10 replies

dating a younger man

Mon, 06 Mar 2006 01:02:33 GMT

I was in a relationship with a man 2 dacades younger than me and I absolutely found it so refreshing. Now the idea of dating someone the same age as myself doesn't appeal to me as much. I wonder how men feel about dating a woman who is older? Share your thoughts....

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 0 replies

Bay Area Women Needed for Non-sexual Nude Production

oceanalott — Wed, 11 Jan 2006 00:17:48 GMT

Hey Ladies, want to do something fun, intelligent, and courageous toward making the world a safer place for bodies to be?

Take a look at the listing below entitled "Calling Women . . . "

or go to www.bodynarrative.com

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 0 replies

Online dating or bumping into someone in the grocery store

shazlaw — Sat, 13 Aug 2005 16:53:07 GMT

Hey,

So I am single, attractive and just a bit over 39, and new to this dating thing.
Anyone have any tips on meeting a nice guy...online dating sites (eek... the idea makes me wanna throw up) or any suggestions on approaching guys in a store...(say a book store where all the cute guys seem to hang out)..or any other desperate measures you can think of. I'm really not desperate, just not sure where to begin.

I am new to SF, and I wondered what your experiences where to starting off meeting new people, besides at work.
Shaz

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 18 replies

Harder to marry if you are older??

WhiteSage — Fri, 11 Nov 2005 01:32:06 GMT

No, it's not your imagination. Finding someone to marry if you are "older" is more difficult. Here's why:

Keith Moore, an ambitious professional, devoted his 20s to his career. He drifted into the dating scene in his early 30s, ready to "settle down with a nice girl and start a family."

After four years of dating around, he decided the "nice girls had all moved to another town."

Janet Douglas found herself divorced at the age of 30. She described her husband of six years "as a good father to our daughter, but a man who never should have married."

This single mom grieved, adjusted, then enthusiastically entered the dating scene again. She fully expected to "meet a good guy, marry, and have more children before the age of 40."

After five years of dating and only two short-term relationships, her enthusiasm was wearing thin. As friends and family pushed her to marry, she would lament, "I'm trying; I'm trying. All the men I date, though, really aren't the marrying kind.

There are people in the singles world who, for whatever reason, are unable to sustain a marriage. Unfortunately, they do meet and marry--on the way to the divorce courts.

This story has a happy ending for Keith and Jan. They joined a matchmaking service, met there, married, and produced two beautiful children in a good union.

Not all singles fare so well.

Why?

Terry Jensen, matchmaker for Connections Matchmakers Plus in Dallas, Texas, explains, "When singles are dating in their early 20s, it is easy for them to meet, form couples, and marry. However, some men and women, like Jan's first husband, are unable to sustain a marriage.

"I call them the unweddables because, for whatever reason, they are not suitable for marriage. With each round of divorces, these unweddable men and women make up a larger proportion of the singles' population."

How does this happen?

To simplify the explanation, start with 100 men and 100 women, college kids, never married. Unfortunately, 20% of these men and women are unable to sustain a marriage.

In a perfect world, they would marry each other. They don't; these unweddables meet and marry people who normally could stay coupled but can not remain married to these particular spouses.

Time goes on, these college kids are in their 30s. The unweddables do their thing, they leave the marriage. There are 40 divorces.

Now 80 of the 200 college kids are back in the singles scene. Since 40 of these singles are unweddable, 50% of the men and women in this singles' population are unable to sustain a marriage.

Ms. Jensen continues, "There is another problem here. Most of the unweddables think they want another wife or husband. They are out in the singles' scene actively looking and dating. Since they don't wear a defining sign for all singles to see, these men and women do marry again on another journey to the divorce court."

There are 40 new couples. Ten couples are both unweddables and will divorce quickly.

Twenty of the couples have one unweddable partner; they will eventually divorce.

Ten couples are comprised of men and women who are both the "marrying kind." They do what it takes to make the relationship work, thus never divorce.

Time continues to roll, the college kids are now in their 40s, and thirty couples are divorced again.

Of these 60 singles, 40 are unweddable. A whopping 66% of the original singles' population is unable to sustain a marriage.

The good ones are almost gone.

If you are single and hoping to marry, you probably feel slightly depressed by this illustration.

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 7 replies

b-day blues anyone?

lolagawdhuny — Sat, 22 Oct 2005 21:26:50 GMT

Why do we get b-day blues? I am 46 today and have had lots of attention from family/ friends...yet I don't want to be around anyone [I'm weeding my jungle garden]... I don't even want to answer the phone...It's pathetic! I feel good for my age...and certainly don't act it! I should be happy...not mopey!

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 13 replies

Don't think so much....

Don — Sat, 01 Oct 2005 07:43:02 GMT

Don’t think so much in the land of partial information

The truth has never changed. The start of all that matters has never changed. The names and faces change, the messages change, the books and scholars change, the questions change, the answers have never changed.

All men are created equal and given a few unwavering rights. What is this life, liberty, and pursuit of happiness? What is this equality? I see it nowhere on TV or on the street.

You say it’s in this book or that book or this web site or that. You say you are educated and intelligent, but mister the books and recorded media of the last measly few thousand years are vast like an ocean and no man can know them, even touch them or smell them in one short life. Certainly you must mean you are ignorant as a snail and this I would happily agree and take you as my friend till death do us part. But, I fear by the red in your eyes that I have only insulted you as the knife in my back has your name on it. I am sorry, I did not intend to cause you any pain and now I must die.

So as my mind beings to fade into the great and final darkness, I think, what was life all about? What is truth? Who are all the characters competing for largest audience? Which one was right, which book was accurate, which brand of paper towel really lasts longer? The following flows out in the final moments of my life…..

From the day we look up and cringe at the blaring bulb in the hospital ceiling to the day we look down and see the floor approaching our face on the way to our final breath, we are all victims of partial information. Forced to take a position on everything regardless of how little we know about ourselves, our fellow man, and ancient ancestors who didn’t have hard drives and big screens.

So you want to know who Jesus was or who god is? He must be all that I had time to discover: I Ching, Upanishads, Kabbalah, Confucius, Lao-tzu. Buddha Gutama, Socrates, Plato, Aristotle, Lucretius, Nag Hammadi, Marcus Aurelius, Sextus Epiricus, Plotinus, Moses Maimonides, Desiderius Erasmus, Nicholaus Copernicus, Girodano Bruno, Galileo, Rene Descartes, Thomas Hobbes, Karl Marx, Henry David Thoreau, Leo Tolstoy, Mark Twain, Friedrich Nietzsche, Vilfredo Pareto, Gandhi, George Ivanovitch Gurdjieff, Bertrand Russell, Albert Einstein, John Maynard Keynes, Norbert Wiener, George Orwell, James Campbell, Alan Watts, JFK, Martin Luther King, John Lennon, Bill Hicks, and the infinite writings, actions, words, and thoughts of 20 billion lesser accomplished folks I know little to nothing about that walked this earth since the dawn of mankind.

But no, these have only made me ask more questions; please in my final seconds what in gods name was the truth? Mind, please don’t fail me now, my time is up. There is nobody else to ask, there is no other book to read, there is nothing, nothing, nothing, I give up, and you win, you always win. A collection of final images pass……

I am a toddler and my elderly uncle is pushing me in my stroller across the bridge over the river. I am a teenager dropping an LP on the record player. I hear good music and watch the sun rise. I have my arm around the person standing next to me and we both smile. I call an old friend or relative and they are so happy just to hear my voice. I dance a little jig and sing out a song with all my might. I tap on the keys, pluck the strings, blow the reed, and hit the drum and some sound better than others. The birds fly across the horizon. I notice the sight and smell the flowers on my wife’s table. I leave the picture.

Paint a wall. Hold your baby. Kiss your lover. Stand in the breeze and breathe in the fresh air. Drive a car. Drink the cold water from the stream. Taste ice cream. Watch the sun go down and the stars rise up across the great expanse of a clear night sky. Eat a hamburger. Sit by the fire pit and watch the embers and listen to the crackle. Comb your hair. Think of the person who gave you their love or simple kindness or a few minutes of their time. Think of how they never asked for anything in return. Watch the children play and your children grow up. Teach them to love each other. Give a hand to a stranger. Touch your head to the pillow and drift off to sleep. Wake up, put on some good music and watch the sun rise. Oh, if I could only rise once more.

I had the answer all along and never knew it. I finally get it, my heart stops and all that was me rises up through the trees; never again to spend this one life in illusion and endless questioning about who is right and wrong in the battle field of partial information.

Peace
Rev

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 2 replies

Romance after 39?

Melodious — Tue, 01 Feb 2005 04:26:17 GMT

I would like to hear stories from people who found romance (the lasting kind, not short flings) in middle age.

I'm 41 and trying to get over a recently broken heart--a long-term relationship with someone who is 13 years younger than me. I don't want to date for a while because I don't want to be on the rebound, but I think it might make me feel better to know that people actually do discover new love in middle age. It is tough to be a single female of my age--it seems that there are plenty of younger men (in their 20s) who are interested, but I no longer want to go that route, nor am I interested in men who are much older than me. And most men around my own age are either already taken or seem to be only interested in much younger women.

Please tell me your stories and convince me that I'm wrong!

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 32 replies

Parents of Adult Children

Don — Thu, 17 Feb 2005 05:48:26 GMT

Hello.

If you have adult children living at home, I could use some feedback.

My middle son will be 20 in June. He has attended three classes at community college during each of the last five terms since graduating from high school.

He is moving at a snails pace and has failed and dropped classes along the way and is barely squeaking out a 2.0GPA. He is otherwise very intelligent and can discuss in great detail and about current and historical events or computer technology.

He has not worked one day in his life and he makes no serious attempt to find a part time job or anything that could put a few dollars into his pocket.

He has struggled with social phobia and he has never been self motivated. I had to drag him to baseball and scouting year after year and oddly he was one of the best baseball players on the team. In high school, he would go to school and he knew the material and never bothered to hand in any work. I had to put him in an outside credit recovery program so he could graduate with his class. He just never seems to be able to engage his own gears and its wearing my wife and I down.

He has never been into drugs or alcohol and he has had the same friends over the last several years. All of them are a year or two younger than he and they spend endless amounts of time playing internet games, going to LAN parties, and playing musical instruments. They are all decent kids. Some of them are working part time and seem to be much more self motivated than my son.

He has had the same girlfriend for the last four years and she is oddly just like him. She takes a few classes at the community college, does not work, and is here nearly every day. She never offers any help around the house or brings anything to share. They both seem like kids who can’t grow up, they are stuck in some early phase of emotional development. I can’t imagine what would happen to them if we parents were not here supporting them?

When we approach him on changing his behavior, taking more classes, studying harder, getting a job, or helping with house chores, he gets vocal with us. We end up yelling back and the whole process is derailed, the pattern is obvious and I understand it. My wife on the other hand can not understand how we are part of the pattern and that we also have to change our behavior.

Is anyone else dealing with this?

Rev

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 29 replies

HAPPY 40TH Birthday to me~~~~~~

MrsCassandra — Wed, 13 Jul 2005 14:19:01 GMT

My birthday is Monday July 18th but Ill be in SAN FRAN so I wont be here to post it then....

Woohooooooooooooo..party city!!!!!

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 8 replies

Classmates.Com

Don — Sun, 06 Feb 2005 22:56:09 GMT

Hi All,

I have had a blast this weekend hearing from kids I was in second grade with! The Classmates.com site is pretty cool because you can link to all of your schools and places of work. I am hoping to hear from people I worked with in companies that have long since gone out of business.

Rev

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 2 replies

Happy Father's Day!

vickicunningham — Sun, 19 Jun 2005 18:21:10 GMT

Happy Father's Day to all of you who are fathers, grandfathers, or father-figures!

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 0 replies

The Same River Twice

Sharon — Thu, 05 May 2005 17:56:12 GMT

Hi everyone. I'm new here. I just caught this documentary on the Sundance Channel called "The Same River Twice," which was about a group of friends musing on the past and what their lives have become now. They were in their 20s in the 1970s and were all river guides, so their lives weren't very structured and time passed differently as it does in youth (why is that? responses welcome!). They were also avid nudists and lived communally. Now, most have conformed a bit more and have kids, houses, etc. Anyway, it was a really great movie and had some interesting thoughts on the aging process and the murkiness of memory and nostalgia. What is it about being nostalgic about youth? In many ways, my life is so much better now in that I have a passion I am pursuing and have more friends and people in my life who understand me than I did in my 20s. I also accept myself more, which is great. But there's that thing about looking back, when we were in our peaks and had more time stretched ahead and more possibility or mystery, perhaps. I'd like to think that the unknown in life doesn't go away too much; it's still there for me. Thanks for listening!

Sharon

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 8 replies

Becoming my parents to my parent

Richard — Tue, 03 May 2005 23:02:16 GMT

My GF said this might be a good place to talk about this stuff, so here i go.
resently my moms developed dementia and the place she was living at would not take her back after dumping her at the local hospital. i was able to find a "Ladys Home" for her in SF. my problem now is that they sent me a letter giving me thirty days to move her because she's not taking her meds or a shower at least three times a week. i have no F*%k'n idea what to do. after talking to these people today they will give me a little more time if i can get my mom to "comply". any ideas?
right now i'm so F%*k'n mad at her and my brother(who will have nothing to do w/her) that i'd like to take a baseball bat to both of them. all i'm trying to do is the right thing, but i'm rejected at every turn. if its not mom, it my bro. whats wrong with familys today?
my GF is the one person whos helped through this, but some times i wish she didn't have to see this stuff, she doesn't deserve it.
i never thought about this stuff growing up, i had not idea how much it would hurt, i feel like its kill'n me.
thanks for letting me rant!!!!
peace,
R

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 10 replies

What's the best thing about women over 39?

oceanalott — Thu, 20 Jan 2005 23:40:11 GMT

I asked George this. He says they're not hysterical [overly excited, nervous, etc] anymore so when you touch them they really feel it.

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 27 replies

1,371 Reminders

Don — Sun, 23 Jan 2005 04:48:04 GMT

January 22, 2005 - 05:14 PM
1,371 Reminders

1371 young men asked me to remind you they won't be coming to the party we call life and to enjoy the illusion painted by our leaders called American freedom.

Casualties in Iraq
The Human Cost of Occupation
Edited by Michael Ewens :: Contact
American Military Casualties in Iraq
Date 01/21/2005 Total
American Deaths
Since war began (3/19/03): 1371
Since "Mission Accomplished" (5/1/03) (the list) 1234
Since Capture of Saddam (12/13/03): 907
Since Handover (6/29/04): 507
American Wounded Official
Total Wounded: 10252

Latest Fatality January 21st, 2005
Page last updated 01/21/05 1:39 pm EDT
Put a Casualty Counter on Your Website
www.antiwar.com/casualties/

I sat next to a 22 year old soldier on a long flight last week. I told him I am one of those people who support the troops, but not the war. I asked if he knew what I meant, he said "most of us feel the same way."

I posted this on the "Heated Debate" Tribe and the first young man who wrote back said out of 100K, 1,371 is a low number and that I should be happy about that.

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 25 replies

Still Time

oceanalott — Sun, 08 May 2005 19:21:03 GMT

Is there anything I you wanted to do in your youth, that you still haven't done yet . . . . but could?

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 4 replies

Hello!

Sun, 08 May 2005 21:18:45 GMT

Just popping in to say Hello-haven't been to Tribe in awhile.....

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 0 replies

NEET's not so neat

Wed, 30 Mar 2005 10:53:23 GMT

Originally posted in *Heated Debate*

But I would like some input from my fellow 'boomers' (Rev knows what I mean)

:)

Just to let you know that we have this problem in the UK.

We too have created an underclass; we have families tin the UK who have been on state benefit for 3 generations.

Now left untreated the NEET's (Not in Employment Education or Training) now number 1.1 million (that's just 16 to 24 year olds)

The stats are:

1 in 5 have no qualifications (at all)
22 times more likely to be parents under the age of 18.
They have a 60% drug use.
20 times more likely to commit crime
50% are likely to be in poor health
are likely to cut 10 years off their life expectancy.

Now as a liberal committed to looking after them that can't look after themselves I abhor this misuse of state benefits for the 'great unwashed' as much as the right.

But how do we balance things better than this, so the genuinely needy get help and the shirkers get employed?

Please don't quote the Murray 'Bell Curve' or similar theories to me. The US may be happy to have 2 million of its underclass locked away, but that really isn't an option here (or for me)

So idea's, cures, causes?

Answers on a postcard to this address

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 7 replies

Just Turned 40 (Jan. 18th) Happy to see this TRIBE

CatherineSlinkyRose — Wed, 19 Jan 2005 09:17:41 GMT

and be a new member.

Catherine Slinky Rose

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 20 replies

new tribe

BobM — Tue, 01 Mar 2005 01:19:51 GMT

Hey there idea people! Anyone want to help out with this?

intheyear2525.tribe.net

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 10 replies

Remember when...

teamnoir — Fri, 18 Feb 2005 17:37:20 GMT

I stopped watching Saturday Night Live when Chevy Chase left. I started the night Abba was on. And I still miss the SNL muppets. Anyone else still remember the great Pavod?

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 12 replies

Retirement

Don — Sun, 27 Feb 2005 20:21:08 GMT

A great site for retirement planning.

http://www.investsafe.com/development/calculators/RetirementPlan.html

I am curious to know how many of us run the numbers and come out in the green without social security in the equation?

My guess is one out of one hundred.

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 2 replies

Penis in photos

petermadril — Sun, 20 Feb 2005 19:29:41 GMT

So, who posted the photo of their penis? This is just wrong. Sorry, but if this goes on, I'm leaving this tribe.

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 15 replies

Is this were the youngens meet S

ravishingraficki — Mon, 21 Feb 2005 10:53:12 GMT

hello
I am new to the group and wanted to introduce myself
My name is Emelisa
I am 42
live in australia and travel back and fourth to America running creative workshops
I love being my age
I love the peace
the knowing who I am
and the love I experience
Look foward to sharing more hugs em'

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 0 replies

Hunter S. Thompson Kills Himself

petermadril — Mon, 21 Feb 2005 07:11:54 GMT

Author Hunter S. Thompson Kills Himself
Hunter S. Thompson, the acerbic counterculture writer who popularized a new form of fictional journalism in books like "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas," fatally shot himself Sunday night at his Aspen-area home, his son said. He was 67.

Besides the 1972 drug-hazed classic about Thompson's visit to Las Vegas, he also wrote " On the Campaign Trail '72." The central character in those wild, sprawling satires was "Dr. Thompson," a snarling, drug- and alcohol-crazed observer and participant.

Thompson is credited with pioneering New Journalism _ or, as he dubbed it, "gonzo journalism" _ in which the writer made himself an essential component of the story. Much of his earliest work appeared in Rolling Stone magazine.

"Fiction is based on reality unless you're a fairy-tale artist," Thompson told the AP in 2003. "You have to get your knowledge of life from somewhere. You have to know the material you're writing about before you alter it."

An acute observer of the decadence and depravity in American life, Thompson also wrote such collections "Generation of Swine" and "Songs of the Doomed." His first ever novel, "The Rum Diary," written in 1959, was first published in 1998.

Thompson was a counterculture icon at the height of the Watergate era, and once said Richard Nixon represented "that dark, venal, and incurably violent side of the American character."

Thompson also was the model for Garry Trudeau's balding "Uncle Duke" in the comic strip "Doonesbury" and was portrayed on screen by Johnny Depp in a film adaptation of "Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas."

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 0 replies

Getting to know you, getting to know all about you.....

BobM — Thu, 17 Feb 2005 06:35:29 GMT

I just thought I’d post a bit about myself. I figure that it might be interesting to get to know one another here a little bit. I figure that our backgrounds make us who and what we are and our belief filters determine how we view life and make our day-to-day choices. So I thought it might be fun to get to know one another at least a little bit. So here’s a bit about me.

Now it’s your turn…Tell us a little bit about yourself…At least that parts your comfortable with telling if you’d like.

WHO I AM IN A NUT SHELL

Who

I’m retired military. I was in the Army for a couple of months shy of 22 years. I loved my job, the people I worked with or met, most of the things I’ve done and seen, my country but not always my government, and most importantly my family both close and extended. I worked as a power plant operator and instrumentation technician and metrology before that. After I retired I stayed in the electrical field for a while. These days I’m unemployed and living on my retirement pay by choice in order to take care of my mother while she beats the hell out of lymphoma. After that I’ll head back to work although it may be in a different direction then before. Maybe I’ll go back to farming, we’ll see.

I’m an Eclectic Solitary Pagan. I have two great kids. Divorced. An avid reader of many different things and many different subjects. I like to try and learn new things all the time. My goal is to learn something new every single day, even if it’s something inane or world shaking (I have a theory about learning and longevity). I’m into more hobbies than I could list or people might believe. Very much a non-vanilla person in any number of ways. And an all around nut case and pain in the ass with a dark or silly sense of humor as the situation requires (or doesn't).

What

I’m asked often enough what my views are that I figured I might as well set them down for people to read. So appearing in no apparent order and quite by random are my thoughts on me (mostly because that’s the way I think and how my mind works). I’m sure that I’ll be adding to this list as time goes on and things strike me but here’s a start. I’m sure that some of this won’t set well with some people and that's absolutely fine by me. This is me and you are you. Difference is what makes the world go round and in my opinion it’s a good thing.

Pro Gun

Pro Choice

Anti Third Trimester Abortion

Pro Separation of Church and State (You’re welcome to your beliefs and I’m welcome to mine and public schools and politics are no place for either of them)

Anti Prayer in public school (you want that go to private school it’s the families job to teach religion and beliefs not the schools)

Anti Government funding of private school (that’s why it’s called private)

Anti Discrimination

Anti Quota

Pro Military

Anti Lawyer

Pro Profiling (within reason. Not many 90-year-old grandmothers blow up planes)

Pro Mind your own business and I’ll mind mine

Pro Polygamy (so long as all parties involved are agreeable what you do is your business not mine and vice versa and if it’s not hurting someone else then who am I or you to judge)

Pro Capital Punishment (some people just plain need to die)

Pro Assisted Suicide (what gives you the right to force me to stay around if I don’t want to?)

Pro Gay and Lesbian rights (again what you do is your business not mine)

Pro Pornography (if that’s your bag then who am I to say otherwise)

Pro legalization and regulation of drugs (legalize it, tax it, regulate it, pass and enforce common sense laws governing it. We’ve already done it with alcohol and tobacco)

Pro Freedom of speech (any speech. Like it or not if you’re pro speech then that means all speech. Not just the stuff that makes you happy or that you like to hear. Don’t like what someone is saying? Then don’t listen)

Pro Freedom of Religion (freedom of religion means all religions not just yours but don’t expect to use it to hide behind when you break other laws either)

Anti Child Pornography (see Capital Punishment)

Anti Child Abuse and Molestation (see Capital Punishment)

Pro If you do the crime you do the time (if you’re old enough to do it then you are old enough to pay for it)

Pro Socialized Medicine within reason (i.e. elective surgery and the like is just that. Elective.)

Pro Hand Up not Hand Out (if you get welfare or the like you should have to give something back as well. Can’t find a job? Ok well there’s plenty of trash in this country that could be picked up. If the state is giving you the money you should damn well earn it somehow.)

Pro Mandatory Service Requirement (whether it be military or civil service or what have you. You live here and reap the benefits then you should contribute to them as well. "Want to learn more citizen?" If you know what that's from then you'll know what I'm talking about. It seems to me that people would value their right to vote or any number of things if they earned it some how)

Pro Strong Foreign Policy (and no I don’t mean go around beating every other kid on the block up simply because we can either.)

Pro American (that means the people not necessarily the government)

Pro Sex Ed in schools (ignoring sex isn’t going to make it go away and teaching about it isn’t going to make anyone do it either. In other words thinking that teaching sex ed is going to make kids have sex and get pregnant is like thinking that teaching drivers ed is going to make them have car accidents.)

I'm sure that at this point there are those who are scratching their collective heads and trying to figure out how this all fits together and how I can rationalize the inconsistencies. Well I do and that's what makes me me. And it's those differences that make us all so interesting.

If there’s something your wondering about that I didn’t put here feel free to ask. I’m sure I have an opinion on it. Maybe not the same as everyone else’s but I’m sure I’ll have one. LOL

Where

I was born in Delaware and lived there for the first 12 years of my life. After that I grew up in small town Maryland.

In my time in the Army I've traveled and lived all over that world. Just a few of the places I've lived, worked or spent some time are Delaware, Maryland, New Jersey, Colorado, Korea, New Mexico, Texas, California, New Hampshire, Arizona, Germany, Zurich, Florida, Virginia, Missouri, Egypt, Israel, Puerto Rico, Guam, Panama, Hawaii, Washington and now back in Maryland. These are the highlights. Besides all these places I've probably been to or through just about every other state in the union.

When

I was born 26 March 1964.

I entered the delayed entry program for the Army 18 September 1981 and went active duty on 9 July 1982 and officially retired 1 April 2004.

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 3 replies

Lack of an owners manual

Sun, 06 Feb 2005 19:20:43 GMT

Did you notice, you and your kids didn't come with one?

There is an industry being built on both sides of the Atlantic suggesting the Pharma's and the Doctor's have one. They don't.

Life is a terminal illness, there are no reliable guidelines to tell you what to eat, which supplements to take. Biology isn't like that.

Some people will do all the 'right' things and live to a ripe old age.
Just as many will do all the 'wrong' things and survive just as long!

Don't spend your life trying to extend it forever, just live it - and relax.

I have no idea what my cholesterol is, nor my blood sugar level. I dream I may die without ever knowing.

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 8 replies

Style for women?

sonya — Wed, 25 Aug 2004 23:18:41 GMT

Hey all; I have a question for the women of this group. Where do you get your personal dress sense? I know that's a weird question; let me explain.

I wear jeans to work most days, khakis the rest; sweaters in the cold season and button-down shirts with a tank top underneath when it's hot. I have little or no real fashion sense, but I know more or less what I like. So lately I've been feeling like I'd like to dress better...but I'm not sure how!

If you look in the fashion mags, everything seems to be for size-2 18-year-olds. I'm average in height and weight, and I'm sure there are some cool, funky clothes out there that would look good on me. So women, where do you look when you want to get ideas about what to wear? Where do you shop? Who do you trust to tell you what looks good?

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 40 replies

Cholesterol

Mon, 31 Jan 2005 02:51:12 GMT

About a year ago, I had posted an entry about having found out that my cholesterol was 260! I was surprised and disturbed, and asked for suggestions of what to do from members of this tribe. Thank you for your help! My last test was 177 (well below 200, which is healthy).

I eliminated most fried food from my diet, cut back on red meat (ate more fish, poultry, lamb and pork), started cooking with olive oil frequently, ate garlic supplements, niacin supplements, fish oil supplements, and have taken a variety of cholesterol-reducing over-the-counter formulas (based on phytosterols).

So, it all worked, and I wanted to share that. By the way, I had my 45th birthday last month.

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 3 replies

Grandparent

patti — Tue, 21 Dec 2004 08:31:36 GMT

A friend of mine who happens to be only about six months older than me just became a grandparent. We're only 40!

I have a really hard time wrapping my brain around the idea that I could even POSSIBLY be a grandparent... I'm waaaay not old enough for that!

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 11 replies

500 Members!

Don — Sat, 22 Jan 2005 05:04:08 GMT

Hi All,

I am happy to see this tribe has reached the 500 member mark! This is very impressive for a moderated tribe that requires invitation.

I wish I had time to chat with each and every one of you. I always enjoy the conversations here. I have to admit that I love being able to tell the under 39 folks they don't meet the minimum requirements :-)

We have a few younger folks that I let slip in, but they have not come here to tell us how we destroyed the world.

Please invite a friend to join us!

Hope everyone enjoys the weekend.

Peace

Rev.

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 1 reply

over 39 artists

Sun, 09 Jan 2005 01:40:23 GMT

Anyone in LA interested in starting a creative arts tribe, or know of an existing over-39 creative arts tribe? Would like to find people to workshop writing with and play music.

We set aside our artistic interests to make a living, but the spirit is still with us. Over 39, we have stories to tell and a mature sense of self expression that (unfortunately) may no longer be so suitable for a youth-obsessed mass market. We are seasoned wine, they are Budweiser. At least we like to think we are.

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 2 replies

Looking forward

Tue, 04 Jan 2005 16:58:03 GMT

And so the Yot glides into the year of his 50th Birthday.

Got me thinking what have I got to look forwards to now?

My eldest son graduating from Manchester in June, predicted a first.

My own 50th birthday and my return to San Franciso to celebrate it.

My youngest sons 18th.

My wife and I celebrate 30 years of marriage.

It great, don't concentrate on the problems of getting older celebrate the thins to come...

Who else looks forward to 2005?

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 7 replies

45!!! about to turn 45....

DP — Sat, 30 Oct 2004 19:09:08 GMT

dammit!!! anyone here 45??? I'm not looking thru everyone's profiles.....in courage!!!!

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 25 replies

What don't you like about getting older?

genghis_don — Tue, 10 Aug 2004 20:53:27 GMT

I find a couple things mildly annoying:
- less forgiving joints (as in knees & elbows, not doobies)
- can't get away with dumb diet and sleep habits like I used to
- have to be vigilant about 40ish "wisdom" becoming timidity

What I find really annoying, though, is knowing more people who've gotten sick or died. Didn't expect that for another 10-20 years!

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 16 replies

Hibernation

ulma_the_traveler — Mon, 03 Jan 2005 06:02:24 GMT

For those who were wondering about me and sent e-mails, I think I am hibernating. This has been a long rough year and the season of darkness has definately activated my hibernation instincts. Give me a nice warm blanket and a soft bed. Something warm to snuggle would be nice too......

My company was in the center of one of the political battles in Oregon during the last election. Once our customers knew we would be around after the election, things got really busy. By the time I get off work and send my granddaughter home, sleep is the only thing that sounds good.

I may pop in from time to time, but right now it looks like I will see everyone in the spring.

Hugs

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 1 reply

Help

Don — Wed, 22 Dec 2004 02:25:52 GMT

Dear Tribe Members,

I would like you to take a look at the "Heated Debate" Tribe and the post "Boomers United."

The responses from some of the generation “X” kids are worth pondering. I invite you to post a response, but I ask that you consider not playing into the anger and finger pointing they use to incite a lose-lose battle.

I find the generation gap to be exactly like any other knowledge gap. When there is a gap between people (age, income, region, culture, color, sex, religion..), it is simply filled in by whatever is convenient based on the teaching and experience one happens to have to fill it in with.

Unfortunately, a few confused and angry people with loud voices can really twist reality into something very ugly and attract thousands into totally false believes about people they truly know nothing about. I honestly think it is our duty as the elder half of society to make the truth known as to who we are as a generation and who among us need to be held responsible for the steady economic decline experienced by working people since the 1970's.

Rev

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 1 reply

what will happen me?

Sat, 18 Dec 2004 06:42:34 GMT

hello all, I am new
I am 39 (at 15 december), but I dont feel,
which one is important? real age? or your feelings?
take care
mali

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 5 replies

Happy birthday to me...

mizducky — Sat, 18 Dec 2004 20:00:11 GMT

Just turned 48.

Wish my body and my livelihood were both a little less cranky than they currently are, but otherwise feeling pretty mellow about that number ...

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 2 replies

Boomers United?

Don — Sat, 23 Oct 2004 07:46:49 GMT

Why is it that America is finally run by us boomers and we still promote war and guns and allow every kind of rip-off and scam artist to run corporations and political offices?

When I was a kid, I learned about the "United" States and how we all pulled together and all of my life since 1970 it seems people have been pulled more and more apart.

I grew up five miles from NYC and never feared a thing. I knew nearly everyone within several blocks of my place and they knew me and my family. All the stores were Mom and Pops. We had street festivals and block parties. Moms and dads actually lived and died together and only dad had to work and the average Joe owned a house and a decent car and had no credit cards.

If you wanted a job, you found one that week and you didn't pay for your health coverage and never even thought about premiums, co pays, and deductibles! Car insurance was dirt cheap and not even mandatory. If you wanted to save a few bucks, you put it in the bank and earned 5.5% not 0.2%!

We stopped the Vietnam War because we knew it was all for nothing and 57,000 (mostly boys) died needlessly in a stinking swamp. Not to mention the million killed in Nam and Cambodia.

I was 18 when it was over so I missed it by a hair. I think a lot about the dead American boys lined up on the dirt roads every night on TV. They were me! I wonder what they dreamed about and the things they never got to enjoy in life. If I don't stand up now, my son's may be next!

I simply cannot understand why 1984 and Animal Farm are not taken seriously?

We are allowing America to be sold at a loss and giving the debt to our children.

What the hell is up with all of us? Are we zombies drooling at Fox News and CNN all day? Screw Republicans and Democrats, they both participate in this downward spiral brought to us by the global fortune 1000. If we don’t have three or four or five parties, we really only have one. Bush and Kerry are both Yale grads with millions of bucks and they both were allowed membership into the secret society on campus called the Skull and Bones club and only fifteen seniors are selected per year! Do you think they might have something in common?

What is good for the corporation will never be good for the individual. I am not against capitalism, I am against uncontrolled greed. Greed that somehow allows the top 400 American's to own $ONE TRILLION and the top 10% holding more than the other 90% of us. I like money but not at the expense of my neighbor, am I crazy?

We celebrate the soldiers who died for this country and rightly so. We need to start celebrating the millions of men and women who built this county and died working day in and day out for it. Not the damn multi-billionaire who stole our free time, our neighborhoods, our small businesses, our once good public educations......

What is on your minds? Beyond the right and left, beyond the liberal and conservative, beyond the black and white, the straight and gay, the old and young, and the million other damn labels we allow ourselves to be divided with.

1,102 killed and 7,782 inured in Iraq, not counting the stupid contractors and all the innocent civilians who live there. Are we waiting for it to exceed to 57,000 killed and 350,000 injured?

It's time for the biggest damn march and boycott this country has ever seen!

Rev

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 18 replies

At a loss for words

patti — Thu, 21 Oct 2004 05:11:11 GMT

As I get older, the thing that I notice most is that I often can't find the word I'm looking for. I'll know precisely the idea that I want to express, and I'll have some vague notion of what the word sounds like, but I lose the actual word for a bit.

Anyone else?

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 13 replies

Something's Gotta Give

lobocita — Fri, 22 Oct 2004 15:30:05 GMT

I just saw this movie last night, and it is was quite touching. I believe at some point I was saying aloud "this is actually a good movie". Aside from the fact that it looks like no one actually wants to actually have to *kiss* Jack Nicholson, and the teeth on the old people seems to look like animals, I think you might enjoy this film:

http://imdb.com/title/tt0337741/

Btw, it just occurred to me that most of the tribes I am in freely discuss relationship/dating/etc... quick poll: are most people in this tribe single or otherwise? what are you?

me: single

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 7 replies

Keep on Rockin in the Free World

Don — Thu, 25 Nov 2004 23:33:37 GMT

Happy Thanksgiving to All.

I am waiting for my 17 and 19 year to leave for dinner with me. My wife had to work today and I never defrosted the free turkey that Safeway gave us for spending a small fortune with them.

Each of us has some different music playing and I am thankful we are all still a family (even though we sometimes we stress over the small stuff).

I hope each of you find something good in this life to be thankful for today. Drop the sword and shield and join me in a toast for life and all its ups and downs. As Neil Young said, "it's been a long time comin and its gonna be a long time gone."

Peace
Rev

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 2 replies

the "nines"

vickicunningham — Mon, 27 Sep 2004 15:14:48 GMT

I turned 49 today.
We have birthday cake at work,so people have been asking me how old I am, but when I tell them I'm 49, they just laugh and act like it's a joke!
Why is it that people don't believe your age when it ends in "nine"?

posted in Happy to be over 39 - 7 replies

Happy to be over 39's topics - tribe.net

New Hobbies after 40

Plan B

Apology

Has everyone over 39 died?

May-December romance..

Maxines's Over 39 Quotes

Middle Age is All the Rage

We Need a National Health Plan

Happy to be over 39?.....

Strokes-This could save a life...Cut & Paste to an email

Tribe alternatives?

New search engine for aging boomers

My Christmas Wish

My Mother is Dying

Ready to Live to 100?

Would you botox?

Cleaning out my tribes....

Would gender matter?

too old for Tribe?

Anyone trying to lose weight here!

Now officially over 49 :)

Looking for help and ideas

Getting Older

Relationships Gone Wild

Music for the grownup in you...

This weekend...

Back to school as an adult?

dating a younger man

Bay Area Women Needed for Non-sexual Nude Production

Online dating or bumping into someone in the grocery store

Harder to marry if you are older??

b-day blues anyone?

Don't think so much....

Romance after 39?

Parents of Adult Children

HAPPY 40TH Birthday to me~~~~~~

Classmates.Com

Happy Father's Day!

The Same River Twice

Becoming my parents to my parent

What's the best thing about women over 39?

1,371 Reminders

Still Time

Hello!

NEET's not so neat

Just Turned *40* (Jan. 18th) Happy to see this TRIBE

new tribe

Remember when...

Retirement

Penis in photos

Is this were the youngens meet *S*

Hunter S. Thompson Kills Himself

Getting to know you, getting to know all about you.....

Lack of an owners manual

Style for women?

Cholesterol

Grandparent

500 Members!

over 39 artists

Looking forward

45!!! about to turn 45....

What don't you like about getting older?

Hibernation

Help

what will happen me?

Happy birthday to me...

Boomers United?

At a loss for words

Something's Gotta Give

Keep on Rockin in the Free World

the "nines"

Just Turned 40 (Jan. 18th) Happy to see this TRIBE

Is this were the youngens meet S