My mother is slowly "losing it" (mentally and physically). She is okay to be by herself during the day for the time being. She has stopped driving by her own choice, mostly due to failing eyesight. I've been told that Alzheimer's isn't hereditary, yet my Mom's father and sister both had it before they died. . . pretty scary for me.
My older sister (divorced with children moved away) has moved in with her. She is a registered nurse, still working full time at a hospital.
They have made legal arrangements so that my sister agrees to take care of mom at home, in return she will inherit the house.
This was very agreeable to all of us (5 siblings). We are all going to try to take turns helping out( some of us live farther away), but to have a live-in nurse who is also a daughter, is a win-win situation for us all.
I'm so sorry for those of you going through this tough time, I wish you the best.

thanks for your stories and support. theres so many details that have to be worked out, like packing up her apartment and trying to figure out what to save and what to throw out. there must of been an inch of papers covering most of her living room floor, after sorting through it we must of thrown away 5 grocery bags full of papers. i didn't save anything older then 2000.
a lot of the paper work had to do with old medical papers and bills, some where in collection. i'm thinking of filing bankruptcy for her. has anybody done this for a parent and how did it go? her only income is from SS and it's not much. another thing i found out about was that since mom 'n dad where married for more that 10 years that she may be entitled to get the same benifits as he, but i didn't know where he lives or his SS#. any ideas on track'n him down?
i've been takling w/ my brother and i'm hoping he'll share the extra cost of mom's care. he hasn't commited, but at least he's think'n about it.
Thanks again for the support,
Richard

BTW- Amy, I've heard of On Lok and i'll check it out.

Hi again,
That totally sucks Amber, i don't get any support from my brother. he doesn't even call to ask how i'm doing with mom. i mean how f*%k'n hard is it to pick up the phone. OK, enough 'bout that.
I went to a support group last night, it was OK. I was the only man there. there was the facilitator and two other wemen. these ladys have the support of there family and sibling, more power to them, but i was hoping to find peeps in the same situation as i'm in. in spite of that it was nice to talk to people that are dealing with simalur. i done want to wear out my welcome with my friends when they ask, "Howz it going?" it's a loaded question with me right now. some times i'll say things are fine, other times thier in for a ear full and i can see they regret ask'n the question.
as to the kicker, you being female. thats total BS on your brothers part. she's there mom to and should give you total support, but if there anything like my bro don't hold your breath. what is it about son's that don't think they have to help take care of thier parents if they have a sisters, such a cop-out.
On to other things, I got a call from the home my mom's in now and they've give me a 30 day notice to move mom because they can't deal with her. this is a place that is suppose to deal with alzheimer's/dementia. granted mom's gone out of her way to be a pain in the ass, these people have to be told what to do. i asked at last nights group, do i have to do there job for them? answer,YES. and that goes for the doctor too.
IE. at the stanford hospital, they perscribed 2 alzheimers drug that made her feel lousy and she was refusing to take them. after checking with the home i was told she had to take her drugs or she was concidered to be non-complient. i found out that nobody followed through to see how these drugs where effecting her. i mean, if the drug make her feel so bad she doesn't want to take it, is it doing any good? i don't think so and i'm not a doctor. and thats only the tip of this iceburg.
Amber, tell your brothers they need to help you out, after all she's thier mother too.
enough for now, thanks for the support ya all! this rant is now over!