It seems so many relationships are falling apart right now. In my counseling business, i am working with seven different couples that are a breath away from saying goodbye to each other.

I also have friends and aquaintances who are in crisis in their relationships. My Astrologer friend claims it is because Mercury is in retrograde. Lots of opinions. For what it is worth, I would like to throw my opinions in the pot for your feedback and thoughts.

1. We seem to be a society of instant gratification. High speed internet, 150 channels immediately available on our remote and microwaves are faster than ever. We want it all NOW. It is hard for us to delay our gratification. We tend to leave five minutes before the miracle. In fact we are a society of leaving....leaving spiritual paths to try a new one, leaving jobs, leaving lovers, leaving families, leaving where we live for what we think will be something better. And after we do our geographical, we find the same problems and challenges follow us.

2. This one just might really stir the pot. In so many cases, the couples I counsel finally after much denial admit that alcohol and drugs are a serious issue in the relationship.

I have numerous phone clients. Recently, a couple I am working with back east both entered an inpatient treatment center. We are not talking about penniless slackers.
He is an attorney and she teaches English in a private high school.

Now, to keep it fair and honest, I am a recovered alcoholic. I will have been clean and sober 33 years this April 30. So I have experienced both sides of the coin. Am I prejudiced against alcohol and drugs? Maybe. But I can tell you this. In 26 years of the work I do, I have yet to see alcohol or drugs add value to a relationship.

We use chemicals to alter our state of consciousness so we don't have to face the reality of the here and now.

3. Most couples in crisis lack a strong spiritual program. I am NOT talking about religion, doctrine or dogma. I am talking about universal spiritual practices such as meditation,
non-sectarian prayer etc. that keep us in contact with Source. Personally, I am very Metaphysical in my spiritual path.

4. Couples in crisis seem to have their PH:D in the other person's behavior and they are at kindergarten level regarding their own behavior.

What I find sad, is the fact many of these relationships can be saved and healed, but people leave and give up way too soon. And then two years later they are back in my office with a new partner dragging the same old problems around in their lives. They re-invent the wheel time and time again.

PLEASE, if you are thinking of leaving, take a 30 day time out. Get some help, get some counseling. Make a list of the values and beauty that brought you together in the first place.
Spend 100% of your time for a week looking at YOUR behavior and zero percent of your time looking at your partners behavior. You may be surp[rised at what you discovered.

If this helps one couple, it has been worth me posting my opinions, be they right or wrong.
Would love to hear your feedback.
Love peace and blessings,
Jim Wilhite